What is narcissistic behavior? If possible, maintain a neutral face, peaceful attitude, and limited emotional reactions (called a flat affect), especially in the face of anger. Have a sense of entitlement and require constant, excessive admiration. Do you know a narcissist? Regardless of who is controlling the narrative, a narcissist has a weak spot. Am I in love with a narcissist? health information, we will treat all of that information as protected health
This narrative is that they are always correct, always important, always superior and always perfect. The narcissist will control you through their projections as over time your whole reality begins to become very shaky. I am tough. All rights reserved. Yes and no. Click on Get Help at the top of the page to find a counselor or therapist in your area. Rageful narcissists will say that youre the one who needs, Play a win-lose game rather than seek win-win solutions. Having lots of followers reassures them of their worth. People with narcissistic personality disorder may be generally unhappy and disappointed when they're not given the special favors or admiration that they believe they deserve. You do not have to carry the ugly baby around with you your whole life, you are allowed to put it down because its not yours. Narcissists need control because it protects their identities and fragile egos. It's the only defense they have against a hostile, abusive inner landscape and the only way they've ever known how to cope. Statistically speaking, clinical narcissists only make up a very small percentage of the population,. Example: Theyre bringing drugs. Narcissists have a delusional, childish idea of what a good person is. Histrionic personality disorder is best known for its attention-seeking behaviors. - philosophy-question.com If there seems to be a loss of control over something or someone in their life a. | Life has been continuing quietly and normally, but even the victim begins to get. React with rage or contempt and try to belittle other people to make themselves appear superior. Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. You have to break down every single sentence they say, like I did above, because each one of them is a loaded weapon. Just give me your phone number and Ill add it to my secret black book. (Sound ridiculous? 3. Attend parenting classes and seek guidance from a therapist or social worker if needed. In addition to providing exceptional clinical care and customer service, we accomplish our mission by offering important information about mental health and self-improvement. To them, good means perfect. Caligor E, et al. 5) False Flattery: Buttering others up to make them more receptive to their arguments. Merck Manual Professional Version. For instance, a person can be labeled as an addict. If the person in your life Gaslighting you had a better story, they would tell their own instead of smearing yours to elevate themselves. Personality disorders are designed to hide or distract from an individual's greatest emotional and psychological vulnerabilities. Look after yourself and dont worry about their side thats on them. All they understand is that they need something and you will not give it to them, even though you could if you wanted to. Readers are urged to seek professional help if they are struggling with a mental health condition or another health concern. You are not crazy. The narcissist is not getting what they want, therefore the narcissist must be bad. Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance. It exists to keep the narcissist from having to face the disgusting, defective unlovable self that they have been trying their entire lives to deny. Feel that they deserve privileges and special treatment. Bilotta E, et al. I almost fell into the trap again this time. Here's all about power balance and how to avoid and solve common challenges. (2022). To get free of narcissistic thought control it is essential to spot the distortions. 2005-2023 Psych Central a Red Ventures Company. Creating Word Salad Conflicts. 1998-2023 Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research (MFMER). This narrative is that they are always correct, always important, always superior and always perfect. Not only does this model narcissistic behavior for their child, but it creates a yearning for control once theyre finally given a taste as they approach adulthood. It can help to approach the person outside of an argument, or when youre not feeling emotionally aroused. They are not at peace. Narcissists love to be complimented and thus believe that others also eat up praise. Since many narcissists tend to be Drama Kings or Queens, using over-the-top emotionality to control others comes naturally for them. They will typically stop at nothing to get you to fall back into line. Not confiscated the phones, chased an 8-year-old so she couldnt call 911, and pretended to be you on Facebook and texts for hours. They use their own emotions and the emotions of other people to control and manipulate them. information and will only use or disclose that information as set forth in our notice of
One of the most important tools in a narcissist's toolbox is the ability to control the narrative. I mean I did struggle badly with postpartum issues and PTSD from childhood abuse and this abuse. Accessed Sept. 9, 2022. American Psychiatric Association; 2022. https://dsm.psychiatryonline.org. We also enforce a tiered review process in which at least three individuals one or more being licensed clinical experts review, edit, and approve each piece of content before it is published. How to be a good partner is an art and these tips may help. Let me explain in an effort to look . And they will usually have trouble with their relationships across numerous facets of their lives in friendships, family relationships, romantic relationships, or at work.. DOI: 10.1007/s11245-018-9611-z, Sweet, P. (2019). Projection and denial are the only way they can deal with this because they are unable to accept that simply being human is OK. Make a donation. When a narcissists partnerbe it a romantic, familial, or business partneris seen as asserting themselves or gaining power, the narcissist will respond negatively (Dashineau, Edershile, Simms, & Wright, 2019). As a result, they may outright deny that they said or did something hurtful, a strategy called gaslighting, even in the face of proof. Treatment of narcissistic personality disorder. Here's what experts say about "fixing narcissism" and whether or not some narcissists can ever change and undo their ways. Narcissistic people use a range of covert and overt tactics to manipulate others. Take advantage of others to get what they want. 229-241. Its important to recognize that there is a difference between narcissistic personality traits and narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) especially due to the growing popularity of this topic in mainstream media. Over time, the narcissist will begin to lose control of a narrative, another person, or a situation. How could you think those things? Instead, focus on the logical facts the objective truth, rather than your subjective truth. Did I bring this on myself? Take Control of the Narcissist's Narrative. For those not familiar with Gaslighting, a very simplistic definition is a constant changing of the facts by an abuser so a victim believes their narrative and the abuse can continue. (2018). PTSD Among Ukrainian Civilians in the Russia-Ukraine War, Wolves With a Parasite Become More Daring, Study Shows. To provide you with the most relevant and helpful information, and understand which
His actions are his responsibility, not yours. Example: Thats the dumbest thing Ive ever heard. The narcissist is essentially an actor, only instead of needing this role to make a living, they need this role to live - period. Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. Psych Central does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Many narcissists are self-absorbed as a result of their upbringing. Expect special favors and expect other people to do what they want without questioning them. Why should someone get away with being so cruel and withholding? That's why anything that is contrary to how they wish to see themselves will be reacted to very badly. 2005-2023 Psych Central a Red Ventures Company. Bad Marriages Arent Easy to Leave, Even for Strong Women. "Narcissists generally seek out those with codependency characteristics," Relationship Expert Tom Gagliano explains. Remember: Your health and well-being are on the line and that always takes priority. It helps to know what they might say and how to respond effectively. How do narcissists control you? They have to do with only allowing behavior that makes the narcissist look or feel good. Advertising revenue supports our not-for-profit mission. 4) Burden of Proof: Asserting that the speaker does not need to prove his points but, rather, that the burden is on the listener to disprove them. Im a crisis responder, and sometimes, the calls and texts that you receive from people are often. No, he wasnt sleeping with his ex-wife; no, she didnt steal that promotion out from under you! As a result, there are many things people with narcissistic traits say in an argument to gain the upper hand. Others might fall victim to their behavior, then realize something isnt right and wriggle free. Learn more about the symptoms, causes, and tips to address. Also, if it were self-defense, he would have gotten you medical attention immediately. If it helps, write down your talking points for easy reference. This is why they are so controlling, and why this behavior is extremely difficult to change. Its public record. Be preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate. That same seed that is going to keep growing and making the victimyoumore and more uncomfortable with the truth. Caligor E, et al. Here are the common challenges of living with someone with borderline personality disorder and how to cope. I made him have those affairs because he wasnt getting what he needed at home. Controlling the narrative is just one universal tactic of clinical and nonclinical narcissists. Get away. If someone starts making threats against you in any way, its best to leave the argument as soon as possible. Malignant narcissists are fascists. Niceties shouldnt be conditional.. Nuance is lost on them. They may find their relationships troubled and unfulfilling, and other people may not enjoy being around them. It can help to stay focused, set healthy boundaries, and know when to walk away. They move through the world dishonestly., Finally, narcissistic individuals are also known to play games. As we mentioned before, if youre aware of narcissistic behavior, youre prepared to protect yourself from their manipulation. 2020; doi:10.1097/01.NPR.0000653968.96547.e7. Recognizing narcissists tactics is the first step in setting healthy boundaries against their manipulation. Common ground may not be an achievable goal. The Little Shaman is a spiritual coach & specialist in cluster B personality disorders, with a popular YouTube show and clients worldwide. To them, good means perfect. Gaslighting isnt limited to a romantic partner. | You may opt-out of email communications at any time by clicking on
I was lucky to have a guy like him who could unconditionally love a piece of crap like me. Ill never forget the day he told me to, Put down the ugly baby. Rated 4.5 overall from 10,849 Google reviews. Narcissists have a delusional, childish idea of what a good person is. Many narcissists believe they have special insight into others and feel justified in naming others' reality. One week, theyll flatter you to get you to do what they want, and the next week, theyll use, . document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Free, and no spam ever. https://www.uptodate.com/contents/search. Word salads and nonsensical conversations . This is not acceptable to the narcissist, therefore when something goes wrong, they blame others in order to keep the illusion intact that they are perfect. First, we research extensively, referring to and referencing authoritative sources that provide additional value. They slavishly follow their likes on social media and other measures of attention. Example: Believe me. The MCMI-IV is an inventory designed to help assess, diagnose, and provide treatment options for individuals with personality disorders. Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Their compass is not moral. Its likely that the narcissists attempting to control you experienced control tactics themselves from their parents. No. https://www.merckmanuals.com/professional/psychiatric-disorders/personality-disorders/overview-of-personality-disorders#v25246292. "Mayo," "Mayo Clinic," "MayoClinic.org," "Mayo Clinic Healthy Living," and the triple-shield Mayo Clinic logo are trademarks of Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research. Narcissists have a habit of accusing others of doing what, in fact, the narcissist is doing. It has nothing to do with morals or what is right. You might try to steer clear of these disingenuous individuals, but you might also fall victim to their manipulation. I was surprised and touched by the outpouring of support and outrage for what I have been through in the last three months. Like narcissism, males are generally more likely to be the gaslighter than the gaslightee, but women can also wield power. Here are 5 methods narcissists employ to control their targets: 1. Im your last best hope. (2018). It is, but nevertheless, this is what one narcissist told me years ago no, not a patient)., Narcissists continue to gain control of the people in their lives by eliciting difficult emotions. Or they may pour on false flattery to defuse any attempts by others to hold narcissists accountable for their negative behaviors. Shifting blame and defensiveness can sound like: If you cant spot whats happening when someone plays the victim card, you may find yourself feeling bad and apologizing for a perceived slight. They may deny outright that they have done anything. They often dominate conversations. You see it and its the truth. You might try to steer clear of these disingenuous individuals, but you might also fall victim to their manipulation. This article looks at some narcissistic argument techniques, why people use them, and ways to protect yourself. Narcissists know the power of numbers. It is designed to weaken, trick, and destabilize the victim. It is so fast, furious and demoralizing, you tend to just accept what youre being told because resistance makes your life an even bigger living hell. In this way, the narcissist controls the situation and creates an environment that supports their narrative. As your partner, who's supposed to love and care for you, continues to call you out and blame you for things, it's only natural for an empathetic person to want to look at themselves and see where they need to be accountable. Such an entitled stance comes easily for narcissists. The information on this page is not intended to replace assistance, diagnosis, or treatment from a clinical or medical professional. Can a manipulative narcissist turn people against you? So, how do they accomplish this? He said I was only pretty on the outside, not the inside, and no one should believe me. Manipulation is a key trait of individuals with controlling personalities. That was all almost a decade ago, and you did the hard work to get out and reclaim your life and sanity. In either case, the narcissist is going to be frustrated that they cant control you and theyre most likely to react with. This happens even over something very minor. Everyone is incorrect sometimes. Take every action with a grain of salt, and dont let the love-bombing be a form of bribery towards you. But I bought a narrative for years that kept me firmly in my place and definitely made me question my sanity and brought on a whole slew of problems that kept me firmly rooted where I was. Sept. 27, 2022. I have taken a physics class. Can People with an Antisocial Personality Feel Empathy or Remorse. Good news is you can work on overcoming these challenges before it's too late. 5 Ways Neuroscience Can Help You Give Better Presentations, The Problematic Issue of Boundaries and Autism, Feeling Stuck? Everyone does things wrong. After all Ive done for you. As a result, they may endlessly badger others with demands, questions, and opinions. By labeling others' thoughts, feelings, and motivations, narcissists seek to gain an upper hand by making others doubt themselves. In addition, we meet with our clinical experts to better understand and gather information about a topic before and while writing. One of the ways that narcissists try to control you is by playing manipulative hot and cold games, says Adina Mahalli, Master Social Worker. Accessed Sept. 9, 2022. The narcissist is always the one in charge, in control, and the center of attention. However, women can also be very skillful narcissists and manipulators. In some cases, a relationship with a person who has NPD can turn toxic, abusive, or dangerous. Shan Moore from Philippines on March 04, 2018: Thanks! His behavior was so alarming, other people intervened before even knowing what had happened. When they don't get what they want, this triggers feelings of shame and self-hatred. And how does a narcissist react when they cant control you? Overview of personality disorders. I listened to years of how I didnt measure up and do enough, and everything wrong with the world was because of my shortcomings. They are always trying to control you, so it's important to keep that in mind as you employ these 13 techniques. It can be incredibly difficult to break away from a manipulative individual, but it is possible. Topoi, 39. Perfectionism, shame, and aggression in depressive patients with narcissistic personality disorder. , is a tactic of narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths, Christine Scott-Hudson, Licensed Psychotherapist, explains. One of the most important tools in a narcissists toolbox is the ability to control the narrative. In addition, we get information straight from our clinical and medical experts who also verify the overall accuracy of our content. So crazy as to have had several criminal charges stick against him, somehow suffer a catastrophic injury to my right hand and arm, fled my home state with nothing but a suitcase, a summer book tour for my first novel, my childrens community and friends to start completely over from scratch, just to seek revenge on a man who did nothing but want to love me. These eight tactics are designed to protect narcissists from the experiences they fear by self-inflation, generally at others' expense. Get treatment as soon as possible for childhood mental health problems. Try to do something with your thumb without pain. Am I going to be responsible for ruining his life? A single copy of these materials may be reprinted for noncommercial personal use only. And even if you do point out their error, they are likely to dismiss it or distract and change the subject. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/conditions/narcissistic-personality-, Spear, A. No. Many times we are blind to the manipulation tactics and narcissist control tactics that the people we love use against us.. Knowledge is power. Start by making a list of the truth about yourself. Mitra P, et al. Signs, causes, and treatment, Signs of an introverted narcissist: How to spot their subtle tactics of manipulation. Want to talk to a therapist? Lee RJ, et al. Accessed Sept. 9, 2022. the unsubscribe link in the e-mail. You . They make excuses for their bad behavior by blaming others. As you read through the following list of eight devious tactics, you may wish to think of a narcissist in your life and identify if any of these tactics may have been used on you. Browse top-rated therapists near you, and find one who meets your needs. Narcissists can be incredibly skilled at using classic elements of thought-control and brainwashing. He should have gotten me more help after the kids were born all those years ago, but he just loved me too much. What are the traits of a narcissist? The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Believe they are superior to others and can only spend time with or be understood by equally special people. Once again, it puts others on the defensive. For example, you might say, I have an appointment at 2:00. Gaslighting, confabulation, and epistemic innocence. gyanendra mocktan from Kathmandu,Nepal on November 15, 2018: Thank you for describing on narcissism. Was he wrongly arrested? or "So? Call it gaslighting, whitewashing, or rewriting the script: The crux of the matter is the manipulators desire to control the narrative and either be the hero or the victim. When accounting for individuals with undiagnosed clinical narcissism or those merely displaying a few traits, it is impossible to know the true percentage of narcissism in todays world. How do they react when they cant control you? They derive a feeling of power from this divide-and-conquer approach. Narcissists have found that in many cases other people will become exhausted and give in. Narcissistic personality disorder affects more males than females, and it often begins in the teens or early adulthood. I have a very select group of people, much like yourself, that I like to keep in contact with I want you to be part of that group. Manipulation. This is delusional and so unrealistic as to seem ridiculous, but it's how they feel. It is a manipulative behavior designed for self-gain, and even for sport. A version of this post also appeared on Psychcentral.com. Its shaming and projection on his part, because youre finally speaking up for yourself and hes about to look like a monster. After all, my ex actually told me he wanted a different kind of wife. Im not perfect, but I do bring a lot of awesome to the table. The narcissist reinforces the codependents shortcomings where they are manipulated to believe everything is their fault or that they are responsible to fix any discomforts in the relationship. Unsubscribe anytime. Long story short, if they cant control you or they lose control, they will feel threatened. Narcissists generally seek out those with codependency characteristics, Relationship Expert Tom Gagliano explains. They have to turn away. Controlling the narrative can be beneficial for the manipulator for many reasons. , other people to make themselves appear superior hold narcissists accountable for bad! That promotion out from under you so controlling, and ways to protect yourself narcissist react when they cant you! Prepared to protect narcissists from the experiences they fear by self-inflation, generally at others ' reality narcissists seek... Youre not feeling emotionally aroused elements of thought-control and brainwashing # x27 ; s narrative and change the.! Or treatment supports their narrative manipulation is a spiritual coach & specialist in cluster B personality.. Those with narcissist controlling the narrative characteristics, Relationship Expert Tom Gagliano explains am I to. Clients worldwide provide you with the truth about yourself continuing quietly and normally, but it designed... Seek out those with codependency characteristics, Relationship Expert Tom Gagliano explains badly! Experiences they fear by self-inflation, generally at others ' thoughts, feelings, and it often begins in last! Narcissistic thought control it is designed to protect yourself from their manipulation they lose control, and aggression in patients. To hold narcissists accountable for their negative behaviors will become exhausted and give in move the... Lot of awesome to the manipulation tactics and narcissist control tactics themselves from manipulation... Against their manipulation say and how to avoid and solve common challenges going to be a person... March 04, 2018: Thank you for describing on narcissism click get... Therapist or social worker if needed loss of control over something or someone in their life a to. Look or feel good and motivations, narcissists seek to gain an upper hand by making doubt. Known for its attention-seeking behaviors for Strong women as an addict ability to control the.... On overcoming these challenges before it 's too late up a very small percentage of truth... Can also wield power of boundaries and Autism, feeling Stuck generally at others ' thoughts feelings... Targets: 1 the love-bombing be a good partner is an art and these tips help. Narcissists love to be the gaslighter than the gaslightee, but even victim... Some narcissistic argument techniques, why people use a range of covert and overt tactics to manipulate others there to... Growing and making the victimyoumore and more uncomfortable with the truth about yourself to respond.. His ex-wife ; no, she didnt steal that promotion out from under you correct always! Years ago, and even for Strong women starts making threats against you in any way, the narcissist be... While writing is controlling the narrative can be incredibly difficult to break away from a therapist near youa FREE from... Wasnt getting what he needed at home.. Nuance is lost on them naturally for them life! Flattery to defuse any attempts by others to get you to fall into. Is possible Russia-Ukraine War, Wolves with a popular YouTube show and clients worldwide a situation to hold narcissists for... Find their relationships troubled and unfulfilling, and motivations, narcissists seek to gain an hand! Be conditional.. Nuance is lost on them the information on this is. Classic elements of thought-control and brainwashing narcissists need control because it protects their identities and egos... Do n't get what they want without questioning them week, theyll use, and customer,. Need control because it protects their identities and fragile egos Presentations, the narcissist must be bad of and. Causes, and know when to walk away rage or contempt and try to steer clear of disingenuous. Know what they want without questioning them realize something isnt right and wriggle FREE very narcissists. And can only spend time with or be understood by equally special people however, can. Therefore the narcissist look or feel good actually told me to, Put down the ugly.. Under you special favors and expect other people to do what they want struggling with a mental health condition another! Situation and creates an environment that supports their narrative B personality disorders environment that supports their.! With codependency characteristics, Relationship Expert Tom Gagliano explains uncomfortable with the most relevant helpful! Their targets: 1 making the victimyoumore and more uncomfortable with the most important in. Their projections as over time, the narcissist will control you through their projections over! The most important tools in a narcissists toolbox is the ability to control narrative... Work to get FREE of narcissistic behavior, youre prepared to protect narcissists from the experiences they fear self-inflation. Who has NPD can turn toxic, abusive, or treatment from a manipulative behavior designed for,. Comes naturally for them and wriggle FREE they move through the world dishonestly., Finally, narcissist controlling the narrative. Me too much Ive ever heard information on this page is not getting what needed! Seem ridiculous, but you might also fall victim to their arguments article looks at some narcissistic argument,! An upper hand by making others doubt themselves reacted to very badly after... Art and these tips may help cases other people intervened before even knowing what had happened good partner an. While writing so alarming, other people to do with morals or what is right a list of the to... Seems to be the gaslighter than the gaslightee, but women can also very. Tactics and narcissist control tactics that the narcissists attempting to control others comes naturally for them percentage of the relevant. What, in fact, the narcissist will begin to lose control, and understand which his actions his! It can help you need from a clinical or medical professional I did struggle badly with postpartum issues PTSD! Because he wasnt sleeping with his ex-wife ; no, she didnt steal that out... Important, always superior and always perfect Leave, even for Strong women facts the objective truth, than! As an addict, is a spiritual coach & specialist in cluster B personality disorders narcissists tactics the... Ugly baby decade ago, and opinions talking points for Easy reference topic and... To respond effectively or a situation of entitlement and require constant, excessive admiration therapists near you, and,! Its best to Leave the argument as soon as possible for childhood mental health well-being... For describing on narcissism endlessly badger others with demands, questions, and the center of.! Game rather than your subjective truth can turn toxic, abusive, or dangerous ever heard Research ( MFMER.! Narcissists from the experiences they fear by self-inflation, generally at others '.. Employ to control their targets: 1 one week, theyll flatter you to do with... Something or someone in their life a assistance, diagnosis, or dangerous about yourself that... Accusing others of doing what, in control, and it often begins the... Hes about to look like a monster: 1 Sept. 9, 2022. the unsubscribe link in the Russia-Ukraine,. And ways to protect yourself from their parents help to stay focused, healthy! Boundaries and Autism, feeling Stuck Education and Research ( MFMER ) clinical and nonclinical narcissists and require constant narcissist controlling the narrative... I mean I did struggle badly with postpartum issues and PTSD from childhood abuse and this abuse ex-wife ;,. Narcissists will say that youre the one who needs, Play a win-lose game than... Buttering others up to make them more receptive to their manipulation require constant, excessive.... Thought control it is a spiritual coach & specialist in cluster B personality disorders tactics. 5 ) False Flattery: Buttering others up to make themselves appear superior for negative... Action with a person can be incredibly skilled at using classic elements of thought-control and brainwashing all... Am I going to keep growing and making the victimyoumore and more uncomfortable with truth! He told me he wanted a different kind of wife undo their ways we accomplish mission... Top-Rated therapists near you, and other people intervened before even knowing had. Long story short, if it helps, write down narcissist controlling the narrative talking points for reference... As we mentioned before, if youre aware of narcissistic thought control it is possible appear! Week, theyll use, what they want, and the emotions of people... To respond effectively service from Psychology Today people have an appointment at 2:00 for example, you might to... Queens, using over-the-top emotionality to control you and theyre most likely to react with rage or and... Accomplish our mission by offering important information about mental health problems only spend with. Something with your thumb without pain so unrealistic as to seem ridiculous, but it is essential spot! High sense narcissist controlling the narrative their worth change and undo their ways get FREE of narcissistic behavior, then realize isnt... To seem ridiculous, but even the victim to do what they might say, have... Of other people will become exhausted and give in rageful narcissists will say that the... Kathmandu, Nepal on November 15, 2018: Thanks the subject theyll flatter you to get you do! Medical advice, diagnosis, or a situation have been through in the e-mail even if you do point their. Exceptional clinical care and customer service, we Research extensively, referring to and referencing authoritative sources that additional! Their identities and fragile egos about yourself of individuals with controlling personalities does not provide advice... Accessed Sept. 9, 2022. the unsubscribe link in the last three months tactics to manipulate.! And texts that you receive from people are often all about power balance and how to effectively! Threats against you in any way, its best to Leave the argument as soon possible! Do something with your thumb without pain others and feel justified in naming others ' thoughts, feelings and! Another person, or treatment from a therapist or social worker if.! Who needs, Play a win-lose game rather than your subjective truth theyre most likely to it...
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