Reddit what to say to someone who ghosted

Reddit what to say to someone who ghosted. Ghosted and then a few weeks later saw them at a bar. Do not soapbox or promote an agenda - you will be banned Follow reddit rules. We talk a few hours each day bit sometimes I take a while to answer if I'm busy and sometimes he does. If you’re getting ghosted and you’re offended by it, think about how you’re interacting with people and why people might feel the need to cut you off. They are not worth your time or Honestly, there is one reason I don't unmatch people when the conversation dies down. You missed the boat years ago. Please don't let someone else's emotional immaturity make you think that. snchzls. How you could possibly handle the situation: [Greeting] I hope you are doing well. e. Telling the hard truth is the way to go. To label the entire act as unsafe over the actions of a tiny minority is fear-mongering. I should have done it even more than I did, I should have done it sooner. Throughout this process, the importance The people who you have ghosted are probably hurt and confused, and the truth is they probably internalized it as something THEY have said or done wrong. Ive had it not amount to anything, Ive had them get mad about it, and some cases we end up meeting anyway. I didn’t uproot my whole life to get away from them. If you don't like being ignored, flaked or ghosted on you should refrain from doing it no matter how long you've known the person, PERIOD. If they say they’re sorry they’re not because they’ll keep ghosting. Today I ran into someone who had come on reeeeeeally strong for almost 10 dates and then ghosted me (about two months ago). Also just letting you know, if you are not interested please let me know. You can ask but it would be short sighted to expect a response. No response is a response. Silence is cruel, but it’s also meaningful and revealing. I honestly applaud you for wanting to try and reach out. When someone ghosted me I think the same I felt before. Now, this is assuming that you don’t feel threatened by this person. My advice OP: Protect yourself and be leery of things getting too passionate on the first date. I would like to apologize for ghosting you without an explanation. However, your submission has been removed, because your account does not have a verified email. baby_armadillo. . Jan 10, 2023 · 4. 96 23. You’re inspiring. I (24f) was seeing a guy (24m) for less than a month so not much is owed to either party. Let her miss you. Sending a “this reminded me of you” text is a nice way to acknowledge it’s been eons since you’ve heard from this person but there are no hard feelings. Online dating is flawed. siberiandivide81 • 10 mo. So far, that has been my experience. I would ignore them unless and until they approached me, or I was somehow faced with them (i. You’re not weak or crazy, it hurts BADLY. com — previously pointed out, “Remember that your goal isn’t to win them back, or punish them for ghosting Anyone making this a difficult situation is a tiny subset of the population. You teach other how to treat you. Do not call people names, engage in slapfights, or give bad/unethical advice. people with kids are less likely to ghost someone though. And cognitive dissonance may play a role as well. They just “feel” something not right so they attribute it to the other person because that’s easiest and quickest. I do a lot of research on this exact thing funny enough, and sometimes there are reasons why people unintentionally ghost, such as either they have more than 3-5 matches they are talking with, or have a date or something set up for something in the next day or two, weekend, etc. Even if you think they're into you, even if they started the relationship. r/ghosting: Ghosting is breaking off a relationship by ceasing all communication & contact with a partner without any warning or justification and. i can assure u that 99% of the time the ghoster ghosted bc of a personal issue (them getting busy, mental health problems, them being a bad person lol, etc). Or because they said some weird shit to me. Fight fire with fire by giving him a taste of his own medicine. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. Once a ghost. I have to say that after talking to several matches. I ghosted someone because I didn't know what to say. People need to stop acting like the dating world would be a better place if people stopped ghosting as if people take rejection maturely. Sep 28, 2023 · This person isn’t worth the will-they-won’t-they story line. Spending any amount of time with middle schoolers will show you this is very very common. Jan 25, 2019 · If the point of ghosting was to avoid a clash, then “say goodbye to the cowards,” Owen says. Hey Kayla. Background : He lives in another city, about 4 hours away from mine. people will do that cuz they don’t have the balls to perhaps face what u had to face. I would be civil and polite, and if I was stuck in a 1-on-1 conversations with them, I would excuse myself beyond the basic "how are yous". Honesty and open communication. Basically say that you’re sorry for what you did, you know there is no excuse, and that you felt like you needed to say this. Now, I like to see myself as a nice guy, the girls I dated even People with kids sometimes take longer to respond. Focus on some self-worth goal and go for it. Every ghoster isn’t like that. Blocked me from social media when he got I admit, I’ve been on 8 dates since March and I’ve pretty much ghosted every date. You can verify your email address on the Reddit Preferences page. Mar 6, 2021 · On the effed-up flipside, we’re more constantly connected to others despite being separated. Because most people run on emotions primarily. Here are the key insights I discovered when it happened to me: FIRSTLY. What this looks like may differ depending on the length of the relationship The people telling you yes are being ridiculous. I don’t even remember which one is which. Ultimately you don't want to be with someone anyways if they are the kind of person who would ghost you, because they don't like you, even if you could snap your fingers and you'd both be chatting with eachother, it wouldn't do you any good because it takes two to tango and if you are the only person caring or giving love, the unreciprocated Not having closure, at the very least, with someone who means a lot is very painful. Sad because most can't. The ghoster is just playing another card. ago. Give him an explanation and then leave him alone. She told me "you are so handsome, i have such a good connection," we kissed, spoke for hours, she texted me when she got home etc. Our brains naturally focus on I want to be clear; there is nothing wrong with you. If I were your friend, I wouldn't bother responding to your apology because you lack so much integrity, it isn't funny. It’s Ghosting is not a good behaviour. While he didn't ghost, I am devastated. If they say random things to have a conversation they are even more explicitly expressing their power over us. Running into someone who ghosted you. Maybe what makes you uncomfortable is the lack of closure. I just got ghosted and found this searching on the app. Little do they realize that it mostly sucks less for them, especially if they've found someone else. Long answer: 6 months ago, a guy ghosted me after a date because he wasn't "ready for a relationship because he's young and wants to explore. Open menu Open navigation Not texting someone back after one date is rude, but ghosting in a relationship is other level. tsukiii. It takes a really shady type of person to just drop people without any remorse. " Buuuut the best way is probably to just accept that you've been ghosted and move on with your life. That includes when they pop up out of the blue months or even a year later. And buddy boyo, you gotta have a lot of experience --- both good and bad and with being ghosted --- to even wrap your mind around what that is. Tweetybird2420. After spending the summer together, we continued talking a few months after until he ghosted me out of the blue, with no reason. I ghosted my best friend, who I've known for majority of my life, we were like sisters. It's always helped me to have sympathy for that and hope they can improve. It's hard to send message to someone, and get closure because its human nature to want a response. If they message back you can ask them what's up. I feel that it was the first time I had felt this way about someone, everything seemed so romantic and spontaneous, very movie-like- as if it were a dream. " Me. Gauge the person's character. Send them one fairly noncommittal message. 116. If you go back to someone that ghost you, what does that say about you? It's says that you have no self respect and I also have low self esteem but still I am human. Every time I ever did it, it was the right thing to do. What is the best way to deal with someone who’s ghosted you? I’m a 19 y/o F and the guy I have been speaking to is 21 y/o- and I met him off of tinder, so I wasn’t expecting much to come off it. i highly doubt that she ghosted u bc of something u did. They more than likely found someone else, and think it's easier than telling you that they don't like you enough to keep seeing you. I think if someone feels like they need to move, change jobs, change their phone number and also avoid certain public places it must be pretty bad. • 1 yr. So while I’m sure it sucked, it was the right thing. 125 Share. Also, while I agree, people can be in bad mental spaces, that does not prevent them from communicating such therefore not throwing their partner into a potentially worse mental space. And I don't know, as a whole, I don't think it's terrible to gently push back on bad behavior. Because when you ghost someone and cause them a sh1tload of problems to carry with them, and you just walk away, just to avoid confortation, you are acting really selfish imo, which makes you a bad person. 2M subscribers in the dating community. Sometimes its because they just dont want to be honest and say they arent interested, other times its just because they got busy. ”. It may not even be the actual version. It always diminishes the ego. I struggle with depression and I'm going through a really hard time right now. Ghosting comes from a place of emotional unavailability and often reflects a inner struggle rather the ghoster is facing instead of something being wrong with you . We had the most amazing time. Being ghosted does not reflect your value or worth as a person. True - but there have been plenty of people who have made me very uncomfortable at school or work. “Spilled coffee on myself and thought of you haha—hope that stain came out!”. I don’t think too much of ghosting anymore specially if we haven’t met in person. If they did not do anything wrong, that is something to highlight. Everything appeared fine and it’s like he just woke up and decided he didn’t see his future with me and Literally just disappeared and moved on with his life and got a new girlfriend a couple months later. Eventually, if you're giving good feelings on dates, she'll want to see you more. Guess what: unrequited love always hurts. If you have been ghosted, the best thing to do is to not interact with the person who ghosted you. Me and cute chick me. No explanation. I'm guilty of it. Communicate. For most people, we realize the lying is stupid. Or I’m not that attracted to them. 2. this Really the only thing that can get their attention is something you say that threatens their perception of you and them and the situation. Then said he wanted to be friends, then never If he would have at least acknowledged his 2 week long silence, I would consider responding and giving another chance. You could be seeing lots of other people loving yourself, accomplishing great things, but you need to just stop texting. May have too many matches he is trying to keep up with. It’s immature to expect anyone in your life to be a mind reader. It's alright to have a little passion, but the problem is that it usually clouds our judgment too fast. While I'm not excusing my behavior, I would like to explain why I left so suddenly. Feel good about yourself knowing you'd never be that person to anyone else. Good relationships are built on good communication and collapse on bad communication. I really care about this man and really would try and be there for him but he wants to Usually a person gets ghosted when they have the opposite of a genuine connection-- when they absolutely do not understand what is really going on and are just projecting their one-sided feelings onto a situation. fntastk. If you’re open to it, I’d like to go on a walk and talk it out. The people telling you yes are being ridiculous. showing your ex that she is capable of getting a rise out of you is a bad move. 3. Had this happen to me. It just means someone has decided to stop communicating, for whatever reason that you don’t have to find out if you’re not in a LTR with them. Self-compassion techniques can help you acknowledge the hurt and grieve. " Her; "Sounds good, I will do, it is actually my birthday that week, and got a lot of busy plans. Every day I miss her, and I regret it but I stay silent. But we were seeing each other multiple times a week, had If women and men going to play these games they better be sure they can take the same treatment back. You're A and I'm B (thing incompatible with A). I think it is because I've asked friends who have ghosted people before, and they always say I don't want to be Small, inconsequential lies rooted in insecurity that you make because your young mind thinks that's what it takes for people to like you. 23. Some say it's a form of emotional punishment/torture. No. If you're this bothered by strangers who stop responding and thinking you are OWED something, you would react poorly to rejection. If someone ghosts me i have zero problem never speaking to them again. When the ghoster returns it’s a trap. : r/dating. You clearly haven't moved on from him if you text 8 months later saying that he is an asshole. Dec 15, 2020 · 27. Look at ghosting this way - people that ghost don't have the confidence, boundaries, emotional intelligence, or self-respect to communicate their feelings (or lack thereof) in a healthy way. Dec 19, 2017 · As Amy North — online dating coach and resident dating expert at LoveLearnings. The pain you’re feeling is valid. You’re not the only one who’s replaceable. •. Mar 8, 2024 · Takeaway. Have a conversation, end things or set boundaries, be direct, be patient, be kind. Me: "We're just not a good fit. draxor_666. if they are interested in someone, and even looking to hang out or date with them to see how things Feb 25, 2019 · Ghosting is sometimes referred to as a form of cowardice: the refusal to acknowledge one’s own misconduct. Ghosted people long for an explanation and confrontation and a sign of regret from the person who ghosted them, and many of them at some point decide in their minds that they need to move on, the ghoster won't give them that, and a way to help moving on is blocking the ghoster. Same with ghosting: it’s quick and easy. People who ghost after sex/dating are immature, avoidant of adult communication, and unlikely to be the type of people who introspect and change behavior. Use mindfulness and self-compassion to heal. always a ghost. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. But I’m sorry, hay is for horses! In this day and age, you should be able to do better than just a “hey”. the worst thing you can do to a woman is not hate her, rather it's to not give a shit about her. I've never ghosted anyone, but I sometimes wish I had, because the breakup talk is always so painful. To be honest it doesn’t matter whether or not it’s “in your nature” — it simply doesn’t make any sense to contact people after a DECADE. If you have any issues with verification, please contact reddit support at r/help, as subreddit moderators do not have the tools to aid with verification. The person who was ghosted now has the ability to do whatever makes them feel at peace. You can only control your actions. I just wanted you to know that I have been struggling with some personal things, and that's why I haven't reached out. If you are writing to someone and they are not writing back to you, or are writing back a day or a week later you are being ghosted to some degree. It is important to assess the situation, set healthy boundaries, and know when to walk away or give the relationship another chance. Tell him that you understand it must have hurt and that you don’t expect anything from him, but that you are open to talking more if he wants to. Eh, I do radio silence once I realized I've been ghosted but "Do you want to see me again? It sucks to be left in the lurch. We've traveled to see each other. It's true when people say it has a lot more to do with the ghoster, than you. Sorry for the repetitiveness of the text and possibly wording, english is not my first language Tl;dr: Ghosting with no clear reason makes It was a complicated ghosting situation except I was the one who got ghosted. I would say yes. We have a couple drinks, eat dinner, someone anonymously buys us another drink. We had said our I love yous, multiple times. Do not bully or harass other users. I just didn’t login as I lost interest. In time, you will understand and even feel liberated by the fact that ghosting, that silence is your answer. Last week I went out with a friend for dinner. No response is a response, so if someone ghosts you (ie ignores you) then they are not interested in you or otherwise have nothing to say to you, so don't initiate anything further. If you unmatch them, they will eventually show up for you to swipe again. We've met 5 times. Reply reply. Because I'm an asshole who likes to get in the last word, I'd probably send a text like, "I guess we're over. Also when they text too much. Greater than 24h after I've sent last text. HerbertWigglesworth. Best revenge is living your best life since he'll never get to be a part of it. The answer is within you. " Me: "Cool, lets grab a bite to eat. My suggestion is simply tell you not to try to rationalize or quantify it; you will never be able to understand the other persons mindset. It is hurtful and disrespectful to the other person, and it does nothing to resolve any of the issues that may have led to the end of the relationship. . He even called me his girlfriend and said how I have set the bar. He even said he loved me unconditionally. Burst your bubble and face the facts, let yourself be hurt for a couple days, get angry, get sad, but remember you're not the reason this happened. Ghosting, Bread Crumbing, all the shitty behavior our virtual connections have allowed are simply the inherit risks of dating in 2017. I do feel like. I would start the conversation along the lines of "I'm truly sorry for my behavior and ghosting you the last 2 months. If it’s coming I feel like it’s lazy to say someone “can’t take a hint. I was devastated at the time, but I’ve since gotten over it and moved on. I want you to find someone who loves you for who you are. Cute guy I spotted earlier walks by and slides a napkin across the table in the 11. Keeeeeep walking. Yes. I know I would be forgiving of some people if they have a good reason. Usually I ghost a guy because i’m talking to too many guys at the same time and end up forgetting to reply until it’s too late. I would say the most likely reason a women ghosts on a dating site is the conversation was boring or she got tired of waiting for you to ask her out. Sort by: Leave someone guessing then add insult to injury by flaunting your new relationship in their face. “If it’s because ghosting you was easier, say goodbye to the disrespectful. Ghosting is a cowardly and immature way to end a relationship. I wrote back "okay" and I didn't know what else to say. Here are my top reasons I stop responding to guys: That’s why I ghosted him. Honestly yes (sometimes). Let her miss you by not texting or contacting her before date, unless she does so first. I've accidentally matched with the same person multiple times/seen the same person I wasn't interested in over and over. At that time when I ghosted someone because I’m not into him and still hang up with someone else. Like I'm the best he's ever had. I’m not trying to imply OP overreacted at all. I’m feeling hurt and confused by the way you ended things. As an intj, you should directly communicate to him why but it seems you have ghosted him long enough and he even still messaged you despite that. It is never fun. Navigating the complexities that arise after being ghosted and having the ghoster reappear requires striking a delicate balance between forgiveness and self-care. I’ll go days without seeing another human, who isn’t one of my parents, IRL. No fights. Block him, delete his number and tell a friend to hold yourself accountable. it validates her. Have a nice life, coward. I do find it very surprising that you’re suddenly feeling guilty about this now but don’t say anything. My boyfriend of nearly 7 years just left without so much as goodbye. You'll likely hear a lot of shallow bs and excuses from them, they may even throw it back on you and blame you. • 3 yr. When he sees that you’re all loved up and moved on (with someone nicer and more considerate, no less) he might just second guess his self-worth and realize he’s not all that after all. You don't deserve someone patient like him if you can't communicate. Don't let him live rent free in your head, what he did was a dick move but I wouldn't spam his phone or try to seek revenge in that way. Always take the lead on dates. [deleted] Just be an adult. If they don't see you, don't go out of your way. There are a lot of reasons someone might ghost you. " "I don't want someone else! I want you. He said he needs to focus on himself and getting into a normal routine again. Allow Instead people either ghost you or go the opposite extreme and cant have tact about it. Her: "Hey me too, I am busy that week, i will let you know when I am free :). " "I'm so sorry. This sub is about dating and the dating aspect of relationships for people near or over the age of 30. it only makes u feel like butt even more despite it having nothing to do with u. " He told me that after 2 weeks post date telling me he still liked me and planning dates but kept cancelling. If they don't, clearly they've shown you how much they value you and it's not worth wasting your emotional energy on them. I think be honest, allow them to be mad, say how you will communicate better, take accountability and how you plan on working through it in the future and give the person time. Ghosting is the cowardly way to go. The moment they ghost is the moment they have ceded their power. I think most ghostees hope for this situation, at least I did. in a group conversation). It's hard getting ghosted, but keep in my that someone who ghost you have absolutely no respect for you. • 6 yr. We haven’t met up but we have been speaking for about 6 weeks everyday non-stop as well as phone calls. Most likely the feelings of hurt are still there. Jan 25, 2024 · 7) Share Your New Exploits. stone cold silence is all they understand. I have been ghosted and have ghosted women before. I have 3 kids talking to a guy with 2 kids a d both of us are super busy. But closure doesn’t just come when two people say a definite goodbye. Flawed in a way that is only convenient to the Jun 15, 2021 · If You Want Answers From The Ghoster: Hi John. "Nice! A person who has essentially told you that you’re not worth any consideration or brief words, you are not worthy, or valued. A subreddit to discuss and explore the dating process and learn from the experiences of others Otherwise, ignore them completely. " He gave you a version of himself. It’s easier and feels more comfortable in the moment to click “block” instead of examining what’s really going on. Apologize. It means that the person is trying to get you to go away without actually telling you that. I ghost people only if it’s warranted, and at that point, you don’t deserve an explanation or conversation that only makes me feel worse. " "I can change!" "No, I don't want you to change. A subreddit for folks nearing or over 30 who are looking for dating advice. 18. A really loud one. It feels great if you ever see him again knowing how much happier you are not being with him. Short answer: no, because they just ghost again. " and "It's not cool to sleep with someone and then drop them completely" aren't passive. For example they don't have the balls to say "hey I'm sorry but this isn't working out for me", so instead they hope to feel better about themselves by doing nothing and hoping you get the hint. The right question is not wether the ghoster can change or not. If she's begging to see you, invite her over or plan another date. mbillion • 6 yr. That leaves our 44M subscribers in the AskReddit community. They’re incapacitated when it comes to sending a simple text, yet they can Insta their 44M subscribers in the AskReddit community. What this looks like may differ depending on the length of the relationship Be polite and respect each other. best advice is to not place blame on urself. I'm 26(F) and the other person is 38(M). Ghosting is a ridiculous thing to do in most cases, unless you’re hard detaching from an unhealthy environment or simply going through something that means you cannot quite communicate. And he got what he needed from somebody, not necessarily you, which was attention and validation. What To Say to A Girl Who Ghosted Me? Hey so long story short, so I am a 34 yo guy who went out and had a fantastic date with a 30yo woman off Hinge. 5. "Hi. I did read the rest, which makes me say, "Double No with FUCK THAT sprinkles on top. He hasn't had a chance to breathe or focus on himself let alone family and friends. And a reminder: Ghosting means cutting off all communication abruptly, out of nowhere. If I suddenly lost my thumbs, IDK how I’d still be posting Instagram stories. ESPECIALLY people who complain about this stuff. People are much more comfortable with authenticity. End of the day, I have been forced to have compassion for myself and realize anytime I ghosted someone it was because I was struggling to become myself for the first time. Every situation is different but in general people ghost because they are too cowardly to say how they truly feel. edit: and realistically, a normal, kind rejection is significantly easier for a person to walk away with than to ghost. ib os na hq ug qy my go up lb